Maybe I Should Have Been a Politician

February 20, 2009

Maybe I should have been a politician. Once I got a new stop sign for our street and a friend called me Governor for the next couple of years. I don't know if I have the tact for government but I'm more of a results oriented guy anyway. Life is beautiful. It's also very short. Too short to spend time complaining about things. And too short to listen to someone else complaining about petty stuff. I love grapefruit in the morning, blue skies, green grass. I like the desert, kids that cry and kids that laugh. I love the internet, homemade chicken soup and birds. I don't have to look very far to find good things to be happy about. So today I was on a plane going from L.A. to San Jose. It was a full flight and a middle-aged couple that had settled in to the back of the plane decided that they wanted to sit next to me - in the middle of the plane. So everyone waited in the isle while they these folks made their way up to my row. As so as they sat down the man (approx. mid-fifties) starts in. "I'll take the window. You know I like the window. (He sounds like a ten year old) Oh, would you look at this... the window is too short. How am I supposed to see out this window like this. Why do they make the windows this short. I can't see anything without bending over." Wife tries to calm him down. He starts in again. "Why did you bring that suitcase on board? I hate that suitcase" "Because it's the only roller bag I have." "Well, I don't ever want you to bring it on another trip." (I'm thinking I've met more mature 7 year olds. But wait, there's more) "Do you want me to open that gum for you? You do, don't you? You've been sitting there fooling with it waiting for me to open it, haven't you? Well, give it here. See --- all you have to do is open it here like this. Geez!" At this point the plane was loaded but we were still sitting at the gate. I figured this was going to be a long flight sitting next to the biggest whiner I'd seen since the last time I saw a 6 year old throw a tantrum in Wal-Mart. So I decided to start writing down all his complaints. Then the flight attendants started the safety demonstration. "Oh, will you listen to her...? Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. You think she's trying to win and academy award or something... Brother..." I turned in their direction and I heard a voice say, "Are you going to whine for the whole flight?" The couple looked at me. The wife said, "Excuse me? I heard the voice say, "Is he going to whine for the entire flight?" Then I realized the voice came from me. I had had enough. "Probably." The wife said matter-of-factly. He laughed nervously. He knew he was busted and that his wife/mother wasn't going to help him out of this one. He never said another word for the rest of the flight. It was sheer bliss. Life's too short for all the complaints. I don't think politics is in my future. I'm a results oriented guy...